What up, fellow ENCOM employees. This is a work retreat. HR have allowed a two-drink maximum at the bar since last year's peanut butter incident. You can thank Steve in accounting for this restriction. If he could act like an adult, we would be able to have fun.
While you all get relaxed and settled down, I want you to be aware of next week's charity fundraiser. We are raising money for Alice in marketing to undergo life-changing surgery that will finally allow her to overcome her debilitating fear of movies made in 1982. We wish her luck. The current total is $3.85, so we are gonna have to cut a few corners when it comes to medical care if we don't get that total up.
First order of business.
The bean counters in finance have this week's report, and it turns out we managed to get 96 renders done this week. I don't know why you're cheering, that's down on the previous week's performance. If you don't get those numbers back in line this week, the Christmas strip poker tournament is cancelled.
The boys in R&D have been working on parallax room mapping this week. This means you can save on geometry and still appear to have depth in rooms on buildings. Not sure who asked them to look at this, but apparently at least one person on the board gave a shit about it, so an unreasonable amount of resources were put towards it.
The art department have contributed some new stickers to the Discord server. What's a fucking Discord server? Anyway, I'm told to deeply thank Default for working hard on artwork that helps fans of the game engage on the server. Good job, Default. At least someone in this organisation is getting some work done.
He's freelance?
Then what do we pay that other guy for?
We're not paying either of them?
...What's next?
The maintenance team have been building multiple sets again. Good work getting some of those knocked out, guys. Hopefully the motion team can come in this week and get that cut scene put together in a speedy fashion.
The QA team have been testing the first few scenes in this next release. They are reporting no problems thus far, although one of them hasn't been seen since last Tuesday. I am told this is unrelated.
Steve, get the fuck away from that peanut butter before I FaceTime your wife.
Well, I think that covers everything on the briefing notes. Remember, have fun responsibly, team. We can't afford another lawsuit. The Chicago City Zoo are still trying to charge us for the two chimpanzees Jerry ate last month.
Peace
Bat